


Apotelesma

by orphan_account



Series: Apotelesma [1]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe, First Kiss, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, M/M, Pre-Apocalypse, Survival, Suspense
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-02-28 16:10:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13275114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: When everyone's lives are just months away from being over...Tyler's somehow just begins.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Batblood](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Batblood/gifts).



> Apotelesma : influence of the stars on human destiny.
> 
>  
> 
> русский translation by [Banana_Maffin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Banana_Maffin), available [here](https://ficbook.net/readfic/6701946?status=1&show_comments=1&rnd=0.46539335042012675#com62841518)

Tyler quickly swings his backpack off of his shoulders and holds it above his head as a makeshift umbrella as the rain drops fall faster. "Fuck, I told you when it rained earlier that it was gonna rain again." Josh looks back at him as they start running and points to the next house they come across in the subdivision. Tyler positions himself behind Josh as they approach the front door; he already knows the drill, it's like second nature at this point.

_Knock. Crouch down. Wait for signs of life. Enter._

A soft knock and Tyler squats down. His eyes take in the perimeter on the way, checking. They both keep their breaths light, shallow. The pouring rain is making it hard to pick up small noises. A few minutes pass and Josh knocks again; it's all methodical but necessary. A near hit from a shotgun blast through a window on one of their first trips out taught them both hard and quick lessons that day. "I think we're good." Josh slowly stands up, Tyler follows. "Knife just in case."

Tyler picks his backpack up off of the ground and slides it back on before grabbing the knife from his belt buckle. His breath quickens and his hand squeezes titanium as Josh turns the door handle. A familiar slightly sweet and putrid scent hits his nose immediately before they can even step inside.

Death.

Josh closes the door back quickly. "Shit."

Tyler follows him to the next house. They repeat the same process. Only a musty mildew smell greet them this time as they walk through the door, leaving it open in case they need to run. Right off hand, Tyler can tell no one is staying there. No trash littering the room. No half burned candles or blankets, the usual they come across in an occupied house. Still, assumptions can equal death so they are careful to check every room first.

They circle back to the kitchen once the rest of the house is searched. "We might as well look while we are here. Let's be fast though in case the rain stops soon."  Josh pulls a couple of plastic bags out of his backpack, handing one to Tyler. Hands grab cold brass knobs with haste and eyes quickly scan the contents of the cabinets. "Bingo." Tyler hears Josh say and looks over to him filling a bag with cans. "No water?"

Tyler shakes his head as he closes the last cabinet. 

Josh peeks out of the kitchen window. "It's still raining really hard. We have time to drain the hot water heater."

Tyler unzips his backpack and grabs a small piece of water hose they cut and carry around just for this. The good thing is that not many people know you can drink water from a hot water heater, so they usually don't struggle with that necessity. Josh's fondness for doomsday prepper shows before all of this has saved their asses more than once.

Thirty minutes later Tyler watches Josh pick his nails as they sit on the couch in the living room, rain beating down on the roof. "I think it's time to move. We're having to go further out for supplies." He points at the ceiling. "And now with spring getting closer, we may end up at the mercy of rain and stuck a lot like we are now."

Tyler looks down at his watch. "Even if it stops raining right now, it's too late to head back. It will be dark before we are even halfway." He runs a hand over his face and sighs. "A couple bags of food and water is hardly gonna be worth it if our shit gets raided again like last time."

Josh doesn't answer him; he doesn't need to.

They work in silence as they secure the doors and grab any sheets, towels and bedding they can find to cover the windows. Even though Ohio has been evacuated for the most part for two months now, other people still stayed and it's not the sort you want to cross paths with. The evacuation was pointless but some people wanted hope, needed hope.

There is no hope.

Both of their families are gone. Tyler wanted to stay though; if Tyler was staying, Josh was staying. He wasn't leaving without his best friend, according to him. "Why not just have it be over quickly? Why suffer more than you have to? What's a matter of hours gonna do? When it hits, we're all dead no matter what." Tyler reasoned while they were sitting on his bed, watching his family pack to leave. Josh said it was morbid but logical.

Josh grabs the shower rod from the bathroom and hangs it in the archway separating the kitchen and living room. "Go grab some hangers so we can hang our clothes to dry. It's gonna be freezing in the morning when we leave."

Tyler goes to the closet in the only bedroom and grabs a few hangers and a couple of abandoned t-shirts that look like they may fit them. "Here, no pants though."

Josh takes the shirt and slips it on. "It's gonna be even colder tonight with the rain."

Tyler hangs his shirt up. "I saw a crochet blanket in the linen closet when I grabbed the towels."

"It'll have to do." Josh grabs their shoes and starts stuffing them with newspaper that was on the kitchen table. "We'll drag the mattress in here after we eat. I'd rather not be trapped in the bedroom."

Tyler hums in agreement as he takes his jeans off. "I think we need to consider trying to find rain resistant clothes. Might be less risky than moving our whole set up."

Josh sits in front of the coffee table and grabs one of the bags of cans. "You remember the grocery store right?"

"Yeah..." Tyler moves to sit next to him.

Josh places a can in front of him. "If that place was that heavily guarded, don't you think any other big stores will be too?"

He knows Josh is right. Another quick and hard lesson they learned, anything worth taking won't be easy doing so. "So I guess our options are death by hypothermia, someone following us moving and slitting our throats while we sleep or an armed group of assholes in the local Walmart." Josh hands him the can opener and a fork without saying anything. Tyler knows he is really thinking things over when he is quiet. An uncomfortable clench of his chest makes him momentarily realise these are really their only options at this point. "Hypothermia it is then."

"Don't.."

The can cracks open under Tyler's harder than necessary grip of the can opener. "Shivering, slurring.."

"Ty."

"Shallow breathing, weak pulse, drowsiness, confusion.." A sharp elbow in his side tries to quiet him but Tyler just shoves a forkful of cold coagulated beans into his mouth, juice dripping onto his chin. "And finally, blissful loss of consciousness and death," he says, mouth still full. "Fuck, let's just put on our wet clothes and go do that now. Why not? We'll be dead in a couple of months any..."

Tyler flinches as Josh yells "Stop" and pinches the bridge of his nose. "We both promised each other.."

"I know."

They finish eating with just the sound of the rain. It's not a conversation they've only had once when things have looked grim the past couple of months. A few too many tragic scenes they've come across while looking for food though, spurred a promise to each other to keep fighting until the last second.

No matter how bleak things truly get.

**

Tyler shivers under the thin red blanket, back facing Josh after they lay down on the mattress. "I would give anything to be under a way too hot shower right now."

Josh shifts and groans next to him. "Mhm. I'd give my left nut for just an actual bath, hot or cold."

Tyler shivers more and an arm wraps around his waist, pulling him until he is flush against Josh's chest. "Won't get any sleep freezing all night," Josh mumbles in his ear.

Tyler takes a deep breath and sinks back into the warm embrace. "For a nut, I think I would at least need a plate of hot food too."

Josh laughs. "I think my balls just retreated up inside me at the traitorous realisation that I would give them up for just a cold shower."

The laughs that echo out between them sound just as foreign as they do familiar _. Not many things to laugh about these days_ , Tyler thinks. As much as he hates to break up the lighter vibes, heavier ones are plaguing him. "We really do need to figure out exactly what we're gonna do." Fingers mindlessly fidget in the holes of the blanket. "It's only going to get harder."

The arm wrapped around him gets tighter. "I don't know.. I think.." There's a bit of hesitation in Josh's voice as he continues. "I think our best bet is to just keep doing what we're doing right now. If our stuff gets taken, it gets taken. The other options put you... _us._ " Josh corrects himself but Tyler doesn't miss it. "In unnecessary danger."

Tyler loosens the grip that's on him enough to turn around and face Josh. In the total darkness, his eyes strain to focus on the ones in front of him, searching, wondering. "Josh.."

"Hm."

He bites his bottom lip; a suspicion he's had for a long time is making him curious and their temporary future, making him bold. "Why did you really stay in Ohio?"

He feels Josh instantly stiffen against him and there's a beat of quiet before a low voice tentatively answers, "I told you that I wasn't leaving you, you're my best friend."

"But they are your family, who you love. Why wouldn't you want to be with them? Especially now?"

Josh huffs and retorts, defensively. "It's not that simple when I love you too." The words hang over them, frozen in the chill of the air, along with their eyes on each other.

Tyler moves his hand and cautiously runs his fingers over Josh's cheek. A puff of hot breath fans over his face, almost simultaneously. "It's not like I haven't thought about you..."

A hand grabs his and squeezes tightly. "Ty, don't. Please, just don't." Josh's eyes screw shut and he inhales deeply.

Tyler uses this moment to quickly press their lips together. Josh's eyes fly back open and Tyler presses harder before he loses his nerve, lips trembling, free hand bunched in the front of Josh's shirt. The hand holding his other one let's go and cups the back of his neck, pulling him closer.

The kiss is slow and filled with hesitation from them both but Josh pulls away first and turns over onto his back. "We can't, we shouldn't...This is a terrible idea."

Tyler's heart is hammering against his ribs and his mind and body are flooded with adrenaline and confusion but the tone in Josh's voice suggests there isn't any room for objections, so he leaves it.

"We should get some sleep. Have an early start tomorrow." With that, Josh turns over with his back facing him.

Tyler turns over too, pressing his back against Josh's. "Sorry, I'm cold."

"It's fine."

**

Tyler startles awake to the loud bang of a can being placed on the coffee table next to him; he instinctually grabs the knife under his pillow and quickly sits up.

Through blurry eyes, he sees Josh raise an eyebrow at him. "Calm down, killer. Eat. We need to get moving."

He tosses the knife onto the coffee table and grabs the can of peaches. "Yum, my favorite." It's not. But scurvy and starvation would be far worse than a few slimy peaches, he imagines. He eats while watching Josh sort the cans into one backpack and the bottles of water into the other before taking their clothes off of the hangers and throwing Tyler's onto the mattress. "You know, we could just move our stuff here. It's not too far away and it seems pretty quiet and untouched."

"Untouched is exactly the reason why this would be the worst place to stay." Josh sits on the mattress, putting on his socks. "If we had to come this far for stuff, others eventually will too."

Tyler shrugs to himself as he stands up and grabs his jeans off of the bed. "I guess that's true." He slides them on. "Shit, mine are still a little wet in some spots."

Josh stands up and takes his off before handing them to Tyler. "Here, wear mine; they'll be a little big on you but they're dry."

He pulls his off and hands them to Josh. "Thanks."

They finish getting dressed and get ready to leave. Josh uncovers a small corner of the living room window and looks out for a minute. "Looks clear."

They keep a steady and fast pace once their feet hit asphalt. It doesn't take long for them to exit the subdivision and get to the highway. Josh watches the left and in front of them. Tyler watches the right of them and behind. It's a system that allows them to have eyes everywhere. There's not much stealth traveling during the day, so they rely on it. Trial and error has shown them it's much easier to move at night, undetected, but far more dangerous when it comes to going into houses.

Tyler looks around before glancing at Josh. "Are you mad at me about last night?"

Josh quickly looks at him. "No and now's not the time.." The loud rumble of a distant vehicle interrupts him and they both freeze. "Shit." Josh grabs his arm and they start running as fast as they can to the old church not that far ahead of them.

Tyler almost trips over a wild patch of grass separating the asphalt and concrete driveway of the church but Josh's grip on his arm holds him up. They reach the back of the church and Tyler goes to reach for the back door, the instinct to hide overriding precaution. "The fuck you doing?" Josh grabs his hand away and points to the space under the church. It's raised off of the ground a little. They take their backpacks off first and throw them under before crawling after them. Once under, Josh drapes himself over Tyler's back. "I hear the car slowing down, fuck."

He can feel Josh's heart beating against his back just as fast as his as they see the car slowly passing around the church before it comes to a stop and car doors open. Josh tenses above him and presses tighter against him. There's a whisper of voices but Tyler can't make out what they are saying as they open the back door of the church and walk inside. "I think I saw three sets of feet," Tyler says as the floorboards creak above them.

Josh shushes him. "It's okay, we're okay." The uncertainty in Josh's voice and the sound of his knife sliding out of it's sheath don't go unnoticed, so Tyler's heart races even faster.

After what feels like a lifetime, the back door opens back up; they both watch the feet walk back to the car and get inside before it quickly drives away. Simultaneous breaths of relief are released and Josh rolls off of him. "Too close. Way too close."

"How long should we wait before leaving?"

Josh sighs as he puts his knife back up. "I don't know. Five minutes probably. Give them enough time to get way ahead of us."

Tyler rolls over onto his back and clasps his hands together, resting them on his stomach. "Do you ever wonder if it's like this everywhere else too?"

"Yeah but I think it's worse, not better. More people means less food and water, and more danger trying to get it."

Tyler bites a dry piece of skin on his lip. "But what if the government and military are keeping everything under control and it's safe?"

Josh looks at him; there is a look in his eyes of pity for his hopelessly naive friend. "Ty, there is no more government, it would be pointless. They wouldn't stand a chance.. Look at it this way, this entire planet is now full of people that have nothing to lose. The day that broadcast aired, every person became more dangerous than any criminal that was sitting in a prison cell."

Tyler scoffs. "I don't believe that. We aren't. We're not murderers, rapists.."

"But you would kill to stay alive?"

"Yes, but that is for survival, self defense," Tyler answers without hesitation. 

"Exactly. There are almost eight billion people on this planet now trying to survive, who would kill to do that."

The hairs on Tyler's neck stand up and he feels a shiver down his spine. "I never.. I haven't thought of it like that." He grabs Josh's hand and squeezes it. "I'm so glad you stayed. I don't think I would have made it this long without you."

Josh hums and looks away. "We should get going." He wriggles his hand out of Tyler's and starts crawling, grabbing his backpack on the way.

Tyler follows.

The next two miles of the walk are quiet, only the sound of quick feet and heavy breaths before Tyler can't take it anymore.  "You are mad, aren't you? Why won't you just say it?"

Tyler gasps as Josh grabs him by the arm and pulls him behind the tree line off the side of the road. He pushes him against a large tree, hands fisted in the front of his jacket. "Why? Why are you doing this now, Tyler? At the worst fucking possible time? All these years.. why not say something then? Kiss me then?"

Tyler shifts uncomfortably against his grip. "Because I couldn't see it.. I'm stupid. Denial? You know how my parents are.."

The grip on him loosens and Josh presses his forehead against his. "So what, last night you had this sudden epiphany?"

"No.." He turns his head a little and fixes his gaze onto the leaves on the ground to the side of him. "I think I realised a lot when you stayed for me, when you chose me over your family, over what I thought was a safer option.. and last night I thought you would want..and you would want to know."

Josh steps back. "What I want is for us to make it to tomorrow. What I want is to know down to the last breath I take that I kept you safe. And what I do know right now is you make me both stronger and weaker at the same time. I can't protect you if my mind is clouded..if I'm distracted."

Tyler looks at Josh, he can see the desperation and confusion in his eyes. "It's fine, we're fine; we don't have to do this right now, let's just go."

There is a moment of relief as the muscles in Josh's face relax. "Okay."

**

Gravel kicks under their feet as they turn onto the road leading to the last stretch before their shelter. Josh looks up at the grey clouds. "There's a small outfitters store on North High Street that we can check out for rain clothes in a few days if you want? It's only a few miles from here."

"Yeah, that sounds cool."

Josh grabs his hand and interlaces their fingers. "We're gonna be okay, Tyler. I promise, we're okay."

The firm hand in his and reassurance in Josh's voice makes him believe it because in this moment they are safe.

In this moment, they are okay.


	2. Chapter 2

It's humid. Sweat is already gathering at Tyler's brows, the machete in his hand feeling heavy as he hacks into tangled vines in their path. "I envy the dinosaurs." 

He glances back as Josh looks up from the rope being knotted in his hands; he hardly looks like he's in the mood for this. They're exhausted, currently setting up a few security measures around the perimeter of their new shelter. Another month was all they could manage at their last one. "I'm not sure what there is to envy."

Tyler ties off the other side of the rope as he shrugs. "Ignorance, they never even saw it coming." 

There is a sigh as Josh grabs the machete and hands him the rest of the ropes. "Yeah but to them it's not exactly like there was an advantage to knowing ahead of time like there is for us." 

"Sure, who doesn't love months of fear and knowing the exact moment you're gonna die and the best part of all, there's not a fucking thing you can do about it."  

"Tyler..." 

Tyler let's the ropes fall to the ground. "I'm gonna go check the roof, probably throw a tarp on if I have to; it looks like it might rain again tonight." Josh doesn't even argue it or tell him to stay. 

There's no point; there's too much work to do.  

The shed door squeaks loudly as he opens it harder than needed. He picks up a rake and knocks down a cobweb in front of the ladder before grabbing it; It's old and rickety but sturdy enough, just like the rest of the place. He doesn't quite understand why Josh picked it when there are so many better properties around the lake, something about the over growth making it being less of a target. The lake has a lot of fish and this place has a dock and fishing rods.

With the promise of having food that doesn't come from a can and a constant water source, Tyler really can't complain too much. 

At first glance, the roof doesn't look too bad. He makes calculated strides across it, checking each row of shingles as carefully as he can. The swing of the machete catches his eye just as he finishes; he watches Josh patiently work. Always focused, almost like he's able to turn off his brain.

He wishes he could be the same way. Maybe he wouldn't care so much. 

Josh looks up at him after he slowly steps over the rope in front of him, leg hitting it and causing the empty cans strung to it to hit each other. The set up isn't perfect but it's enough of a warning; it's better than being complete sitting ducks. The machete starts swinging again and Tyler sits down, bringing his sleeve to his face and wiping off the sweat. 

After the last rope is tied, he watches the top of the ladder shake before Josh is climbing up over it and onto the roof. "That ladder is sketchy." Tyler shrugs, arms wrapped around his knees as Josh sits next to him. "If it ends up raining, we can collect a decent amount of worms so we can go fishing tomorrow."

Tyler hums, eyes focused on the lake in the distance; he can almost taste them. Another day of waiting seems like a lifetime. In a way, for them, it kind of is. He finally looks over at Josh, who's sweating through his shirt and still panting a little. "I saw a few bottles of body wash in the bathroom too. Do you think the lake is okay for a bath?" 

Josh gives him the first smile he has seen in a while. "Is that your way of telling me that I smell?" 

Tyler smiles. "It has been a long time for us both." It has. The last time they attempted one, it was in the freezing rain. They both had the sniffles for a week, Tyler near convinced that they were going to die from pneumonia. 

"Still might be a little too cold for it but I guess we can boil some water though and just wipe ourselves down," Josh says as he stands back up and moves towards the ladder. He peeks over it before his descent down. "Go grab the two buckets and fill them with water while I make a fire. We don't have long before dark." 

When he gets back on the ground, with a tired heave, Tyler picks up the ladder and places it back into the shed, grabbing the buckets on the way out. The walk to the lake isn't a long one, so he's back pretty quickly, placing the filled buckets on he ground next to where Josh is digging. Tyler raises an eyebrow. "You can't just lay some sticks in a pile and light it on fire?" 

There's a half amused snort coming from Josh as the shovel hits the ground again. "I'm building a Dakota fire hole." He moves the shovel a foot over from the hole before digging it into the ground again. "Have to dig a smaller hole here and then make a tunnel from this one to that one and connect them." 

"I'm still not understanding the point?" 

"Well," Josh says in between breaths. "The airflow from the the smaller hole will make the fire burn hotter and that means less smoke, less visibility." 

"Ah." Tyler nods, not fully understanding still but he trusts that Josh knows what he's doing, so he doesn't question it anymore. "Need me to do anything else?" 

"Yeah, a few things. Grab a handful of lint from the dryer, an empty toliet paper roll and the biggest pot you see in the kitchen." 

Fifteen minutes later, the lint stuffed toliet paper roll is being lit inside of the hole and sticks are being placed against it. "Perfect." Josh wipes his forehead as he stands back up, grabbing the branches they just shaved the bark off of and placing them spaced out over fire hole. 

The pot is placed on top and one of the buckets of water is poured in as Tyler watches on in awe. "I've never been so happy to see a fire." This is the first one they've been able to build. Josh said it was too risky where they were before.

With the hotter fire, it doesn't take too long before both buckets are filled with the hot water and they're carefully carrying them inside and straight to the bathroom; neither one wastes any time as they place them next to the tub and immediately start stripping their clothes off. The sun is setting, so they won't have light left for too much longer. "This bucket to wash, this one to rinse?" Tyler asks as he hands Josh a wash cloth.

"Yeah."

They both step inside of the empty bathtub, completely naked. They've been friends since they were kids so there's not much need for modesty but it feels more awkward since their first kiss... and the several cautious and brief ones since. There really isn't any time to stare or contemplate feelings though. Tyler moans as hot water spills onto his skin from the rag. "Fuck." 

Josh hums in agreement, small satisfied groans slipping out as the soap spreads over his skin. 

They've both needed this. 

The water is murky and tepid by the time they finish. Josh pulls the lighter out of his jeans and flicks it, lighting the candle he grabbed on the way in. It's just enough light for them to see where they're walking as they emerge from the bathroom, towels around their waists. Tyler grimaces as he grabs clothes from his bag. They only each have a few sets of dirty clothes that they cycle through. He shoves them back in. "I'm not putting these on tonight. I'd like to smell like a human for a little while longer."

Josh looks up from his bag, smiling. "At least put on boxers in case something happens in the middle of the night. What are you gonna do, hit someone with your dick?"

That coaxes a laugh from Tyler. "Well you can't deny the element of surprise in it. If it doesn't work, just be sure to put on my tombstone that I went down swinging." 

He doesn't laugh much longer; the morbidness of the joke catches up with Josh and Tyler can see his mood instantly change. "We should eat and rest," he deadpans as he pulls his boxers on. "We still have a lot to do before Wednesday."

Tyler knows that's another reason for Josh's mood today. In a few days, they have one trip left to the old shelter to get the last of their things; every trip back and forth is a dangerous one. A long bridge that they have to cross, about a mile from there, making it a lot riskier than their usual treks. "What's on the menu tonight?" 

"Green beans. We need to save the corn for the morning since it's more carbs."

Tyler grabs the opened can from him, half tempted to just tell him to eat his ration too since he did a lot more today. Josh would never let him do that though. He always makes sure they eat the same amount. Tyler isn't used to seeing him so thin, muscles slowly being eaten away each day they aren't being fed enough. Josh said it's normal, that it's no big deal anyway.

In their situation it's true but still painful to watch.

As much as he really wants to just inhale the food, he takes his time, knowing the candle gets blown out after that. Candles are scarce and they only have a few. "Are the kerosene lamps in the shed completely useless?" 

"Yeah, pretty much. Even if the fuel in them isn't old as shit, can't do anything with dry rotted wicks." Josh looks up at Tyler as he sighs. "I guess we can leave the very top of one of the sheets down a little tonight since it's raining." 

"Thanks." After the first couple of weeks, sitting in pitch black started to feel a little maddening; adrenaline was too high at first to care, there was safety in it. It doesn't bother either one of them much anymore though but he still likes to be able to see Josh's face sometimes when they talk at night. 

It's the only thing they have to do. 

Forks scraping cans and rain echo between the walls as they finish eating and Josh is blowing out the flame. "Come grab the other side of the sheet. Don't drop the thumbtack. I'm not lighting the candle with the window uncovered." 

Tyler sneezes as dust falls from the sheet as it's being pulled down. "Shit, I don't think anyone was living here before all of this." 

"Whoever owned it probably just used it like a summer lake house or something, so haven't been here in a while." Josh steps back from the window. "Enough light?" 

He glances around the room as lightening lights up the sky outside, casting shadows on the wall. "Yeah, it's fine." He grabs his bag and sits on the bed before unzipping it. "Maybe even enough to play cards if you want?" 

The bed dips next to him. "I'd honestly probably just fall asleep but we can try if you really want to." 

"Nah, don't worry about it tonight. Just go ahead and lay down." Tyler throws the deck back in his bag and grabs boxers before closing and tossing it back onto the floor. "Do you think we'll actually catch anything tomorrow?" 

Josh scoots up to his pillow and lays on his side, patting the spot next to him. "Maybe. In the spring it's best to fish before dark but we can't burn a fire at night, so have to go earlier." Tyler crawls into the bed and lays next to him as he wraps an arm around his waist. "Toss up." 

"No way to keep them alive overnight, I'm guessing?" 

"Nothing I can do, no." Josh's nose drags across the crook of his neck. "You smell good." 

Hesitantly, Tyler turns his head a little and sniffs at the arm around him, wrinkling up his nose. "I would say the same to you but that shirt smells like armpits." 

A weak laugh vibrates against his skin. "One bath and now you're suddenly too good for armpit shirt." 

Tyler laughs. He likes the nights better. Josh seems more relaxed; it's almost like he's his best friend again and not just his self-appointed bodyguard and babysitter. "I miss you." 

A kiss is placed on his neck. "I'm right here."

"You know what I mean..." 

"Ty, not tonight. I'm too tired for this. We'll talk about this tomorrow, okay." 

They never do but Tyler lets it go anyway as he shifts a little closer. Every word Josh said came out in a low slur, so it doesn't shock him when he hears soft snores not long after. He takes one of Josh's hands into his and brings it to his mouth before kissing it. "Goodnight." 

**

Tyler's hands are shaky as he slides the worm onto the hook of the fishing rod. He's trying to be patient but it's all he's thought about all day. He can tell by the way Josh's are trembling too, that he's been doing the same. Josh stands to the side as Tyler casts his line out. "Here goes nothing," he says as he sits on the edge of the dock. 

Josh sits next to him. "I wouldn't say that. There's a decent amount of mosquitoes out for this time, so fish may be feeding right now." 

There's only so much silence Tyler can take while watching the bobbers in the water before his mind drifts off. Times like this is when he can't help but daydream about what life would be like if this didn't happen. They're supposed to be on spring break right now, getting wasted on a beach somewhere. Tyler's thought up the scenario a million times, each time it's a different place but it's always with Josh. They've always been inseparable. 

That's one thing that didn't change at least. 

"We would have gotten our acceptance letters a few weeks ago. I remember at the time we applied, we both thought that not going to the same college was earth ending. If we only knew then." He knows Josh hates these conversations but he doesn't. Unlike him, Tyler needs the normalcy. 

He doesn't expect a laugh from Josh. "I didn't tell you but I actually applied to two of the schools you did."

Tyler looks his way, quickly. "No way, you're messing with me aren't you?" 

"After hearing how crazy that sounds out loud, I wish I was," Josh says as he turns he head towards him. 

"It's not like I would have hated being with you." 

Josh's eyes go back to the water. "It doesn't matter anymore."

"I know." 

Two hours later and with three fish on the stringer, Tyler takes off his hat and runs his fingers through his sweaty hair. "How much longer do you want to stay?" 

"We can probably just reel in and go if you want. Three is more than we thought we'd catch anyway." The reel is turning in Tyler's hand before the last word comes out of Josh's mouth. "Eager?" 

"Obvious?" Tyler smiles and puts the fishing rod down behind him so he can stand up. He takes one last glance at Josh. "So exactly how long have you been in love with me?" 

Josh huffs as he finishes reeling in his line. "Just stop. I don't know what's gotten into you lately but I can't.." Josh only just gets his rod put down before something snaps in Tyler and he shoves him by his shoulders and his back hits the dock.

Tyler straddles him and pins his arms down. "I'm so fucking sick of this, of you running away or shutting down the minute I talk about anything that makes you vulnerable or god forbid, distracts you. You treat me like I'm about to break, you barely talk to me anymore and for what? For this? This isn't even living." Josh finally looks at him. "You have to accept it, we're gonna die; whether we like it or not it's going to happen. I don't know about you but I'd rather live one great week with you than seven more just like this..."  

This time, there's no caution in the way Josh's lips touch his. Tyler's fingertips dig into Josh's arms before letting go; he's immediately pulled down onto the chest under him and then being flipped over onto his back. Arms wrap under his shoulders and his head falls back, neck arching as teeth drag across the skin there. Tyler's hands move between them and he starts fumbling with the button of Josh's jeans before it pops open. His hands fist the sides of the waistband and Tyler starts roughly tugging them down; Josh freezes above him. "What's wrong?"

Josh untangles from him and sits up on his knees, breathing heavily. "I know we don't have a lot of time but I still want to go a little slower than this. It's just too much," he says, standing and buttoning his pants before walking to the edge of the dock and squatting down to unknot the stringer rope. "I haven't even processed that I can kiss you like that yet, much less doing anything more." 

Tyler stands up too and grabs the fishing rods, smiling as Josh pulls the fish out of the water and starts walking back towards him. "I can deal with slower. Just stop being like a robot at least. Like I said last night, I miss you." 

"I promise I'll try, now come on, let's get these cleaned and on the fire." Hunger now nearly forgotten until that moment, Tyler's stomach rumbles and he quickly follows behind him. They had boiled water earlier that day so everything is already set up when they get back. Josh hands the fish to him and grabs his lighter. "You ever gutted a fish before?" Tyler shakes his head. "Okay, you can just watch this time. Don't want you slicing your hand open." 

Neither one of them even bother to sit down to eat once the fish are done. The stick shakes in Tyler's hand as teeth rip meat off of the bones. "Unbelievable." 

"Mhm," Josh hums as he starts to break apart the third one too. "Here." 

As hard as it is to do, Tyler lightly nudges Josh's hand away. "You eat it. I'm gonna be stuffed." It's not the complete truth but Josh needs the food more than he does. 

**

The fire burns out behind them as they sit on the dock again to watch the sunset. 

"I've been thinking about Wednesday. We should get the map out and come up with an alternative route to take." 

After a few seconds, Josh looks over at him. "I've been thinking that too. There's a path to go around the bridge but it adds a few of miles and the area with the woods might be a little rough to go through though."

"Could be worth it though if it's safer." 

"It should be. I know it goes around the petroleum refinery and that area was pretty much unpopulated before." 

Tyler lays down and puts his head in Josh's lap. "I like it here. Wish we could have been here sooner."

Josh gently runs his fingers through his hair. "We're here now." 

Tyler looks out at the spot across the water where it meets orange sky. "Not gonna lie, this would be the perfect place to watch the world burn. Kind of looks like it is already."


	3. Chapter 3

"Come on. The sun will be up in about ten."

The muted light coming from the candle, and the weight of the can, being tossed next to him and hitting the bed, is enough to make Tyler groan as his eyes open. He begrudgingly wills his body upright and wipes his eyes with the palms of his hands. "Can you at least let me wake up and take a piss, before doing the whole drill sergeant Dun act." Josh just grunts as Tyler throws the covers off and gets out of bed to go to the bathroom. As much as he hates it, they both know it's best if they leave out as early as possible.

There's less of a chance of anyone else being out on the roads.

After he finishes, he walks back to the bed and grabs the can off of it. "Fruit cocktail." He pops the top off and takes the spoon out of Josh's hand. "Just what I wanted."

"Don't complain." Josh watches as he takes a bite. "I had garbanzo beans. I mean, you can..." He picks up another can of them and gestures it his way.

Tyler inwardly shudders and bats it away with his free hand. "Yeah, no thanks." Josh shrugs and puts the can back down as a soggy grape squishes between Tyler's teeth. "Doesn't matter anyway. I'm pretending that this is literally anything else."

"Yeah? How's that working out for you?"

Another shudder passes through him as it slides down his throat, eliciting an automatic lurch of his stomach. "Delicious."

Josh stands up and grabs his jeans from the floor before sliding them on. "You're ridiculous."

"Debatable." He chews another mouthful as he watches Josh zip up, trying not to think too much about last night's intimate activities, between them. Being distracted is the last thing he needs at the moment. "How are you feeling about today?"

"About as prepared as possible, I guess." They've poured over the map every day as the trip back to their old shelter approached; nothing is ever certain though, and any time they go somewhere new, there's a chance of something going wrong. "Just ready to go and get back."

"Same." Tyler knows neither of them really want to go, but he's glad Josh hasn't been as moody about it, like he was. He figures the extra calories and new plan, have helped with that. "I assume you already packed the supplies?" They always bring a few things in case they're stuck somewhere for the night. He used to feel like it was a jinx of sorts to prepare for something bad to happen, but after needing them the first time and realizing just how screwed they would have been without them, he quickly dropped the superstitions.

Josh picks up and tosses one of their backpacks onto the bed behind him. "Food and water. Just put the candle in there after you finish eating."

**

A thin branch springs back and hits Tyler in the face after Josh brushes past it. "Shit." It stings and he can already feel drops of blood beading from the cut.

Josh stops ahead of him and looks back. "What happened?"

"Nothing," Tyler replies, wiping it with his sleeve. "Just a cut." The reassurance doesn't stop Josh from turning around again and walking back towards him. Gripping his chin, he angles his face and examines it. Tyler huffs. "This isn't necessary. It's small."

"Even so." Josh grabs his bottle of water from the backpack before pouring a little over it, washing away the trickling blood. "Infections aren't exactly a joke now." With one last look, he puts away the bottle and starts back on the trail. "Can't imagine how fun it would be to try to find antibiotics."

"Super fun," Tyler mumbles. "This entire end of the world thing has been like one long trip to Disneyland. Why not add to it."

Josh snorts. "Yes, Tyler. I've been looking for the exact words to describe the experience so far, and you so eloquently did just that. Thanks."

"Welcome." Tyler steadies his hands on the large downed tree blocking their path and slings one leg over it. "Who's idea was it again to take a new route?"

"Yours."

"Like I was saying." The fabric of one of Tyler's pant legs briefly snag on a branch. "Whoever came up with it is a genius."

"I hate you," Josh says with a fond tone, but still rolls his eyes.

"Your hand around my dick last night, determined that was a lie."

Josh stops, mid climb, and looks up at him. "Maury? Really?" He shakes his head and continues moving. "I liked it better when you were emo monologuing about our impending demise."

"So you prefer misery... Got ya."

"If you're just gonna keep quoting talk shows and comparing this to the magical world of Disney, then yes, completely."

"Killjoy." While they're briefly stopped, Tyler looks at his watch. "We've been walking for two hours now, so should only have another couple of miles or so."

"Yeah, just about. Might take us a little longer to walk than usual, though." Even prepared, the precise roughness of the terrain couldn't have exactly been predicted. It's been tough so far, but definitely safer in some ways. One part they have been nervous about though, is the small neighborhood that is between their current location and the path around the refinery; certain circumstances have made it to where they have no choice but to pass through it.

The sudden resurfacing anxiety, is enough to quiet them both the next mile.

Tyler can tell Josh is feeling more uneasy than he is; he's watched him touch the knife on his belt loop at least six times, almost as if he's checking to make sure it's still there, using that as a way to ground himself. Neither option does much to quell Tyler's own nerves. He hasn't survived off of endless cans of legumes and shitty fruit, just to be gunned down by some douchebag in a house behind a white picket fence.

As they clear the last of the trees and are stepping onto the road, it looks anything but the picturesque American dream it probably once was. Josh grabs his shirt and pulls him the few steps back to the tree line. "What?"

He follows Josh's gaze towards the yellow grass in front of one of the houses.  He's not sure how, at first glance, that he missed it but laying sprawled out next to the car in the driveway, is a body. They've seen plenty of death, sure, but it's usually been inside of houses, not just out in the open like this. "I don't like that," Josh finally says, hand still tightly wound in the side of his shirt. "How much you wanna bet, there's a gunshot or knife wound somewhere on him?"

Tyler won't be finding that out. There's no way he's going closer to it than necessary. "Could have just been a stroke or heart attack."

A sigh comes from the side of him. "Now's not the time to be naive." He finally releases his shirt. "There's no bloat and he looks like he's been in the sun for a while; could be old, I guess. I still don't like this, though."

"I think." Tyler glances at him, biting his bottom lip. They can't really be flippant about their choices these days and no matter how confident he is about something, they both know that situations can easily be judged wrong. "The chances of whoever did that still being around here, is probably slim, right?"

"Maybe." Josh doesn't look like he quite believes that, as he scans the surrounding houses. "It looks like nearly every backyard is fenced in, so that's not an option. I think our best bet at this point, is to stick to our original plan and just run it."

"Yeah." Tyler takes a deep breath and tightens the straps on his backpack. "Okay...Yeah, let's do this."

Josh starts out ahead of him, and they keep the same lookout system they always employ. In that moment, he's glad that he doesn't have the side with the body on it; unfortunately, his nose isn't as lucky as his eyes, as they pass it.

He tries not to breathe.

The road goes on for around another half mile, and Tyler's never been more aware of the sound of their feet, rustling clothes, and the bounce of their backpacks. In the dead silence, it all sounds too loud: each noise threatening their stealth and survival. His lungs start to burn as air flows quickly in and out of them, but he keeps his mouth closed, to try not add to their invading presence.

To his surprise, Josh is the first one to signal to stop for a break. They crouch along the side of one of the houses, ducking below the windows. He looks around one last time before sitting, back against the bricks. "Sorry, just need a minute."

"It's fine. Me too." They're young and healthy, for the most part, but even with their new food source of fish, lack of much else still draws exhaustion into their bones like lead. Fragmented sleep doesn't help either. "I'm glad this is our last time back out. Don't know if I could muster up the energy to do this again." Knowing this is the last of the outside world he'll experience, is a bittersweet realization; the promise of security and safety, makes the isolation worth it, though.

Josh stretches his arms over his head, exhaling. "You should have stayed at the house. I could have done this alone."

"And you're quick to call me naive?" Tyler catches one of Josh's hands in his, before it lands on his lap, and threads his fingers through his. "What if you would have never showed back up? I would have been left by myself."

"You would have been okay there."

"That's not," Tyler goes to speak, but stops when his mind pictures the man in the grass, as Josh. Just the prospect of having to leave to go look for him and it ending in a similar way, is enough to make acidic liquid from his stomach, creep up his throat. "Nevermind."

"I take it back." Josh gives him a half smile. "Daytime tv and mouses in houses, over doom and gloom, for sure."

"Shut up."

Smile now gone, Josh let's go of his hand and uses the wall to brace himself as he stands. "We should get going. I don't like staying idle here for long." Tyler doesn't miss the lowly mumbled, _just in case_ , as he stands up too. He's wondering if the last of their clothes and the duffle bag of family photo albums that were left in their possession, is worth the risk. The clothes maybe aren't, but he knows how much the rest mean to Josh.

Especially considering it's some of the last of their families that they have left.

"Sometimes I wish we had a car," Tyler breathes out in a low whisper, legs struggling to keep propelling him forward. "I just feel like we're always target practice on foot."

"Cars are loud; gas isn't infinite. You know that already." He glances back and deadpans, "We can always run in a zig zag pattern, if it will make you feel better?"

He opts to smile instead of kicking the back of Josh's legs like he really wants to do. "I hate you."

"Your dried up jizz on our sheets and my shirt, determined that was a lie." This time, he does kick one of Josh's calves before passing him up and flipping him off. A couple of minutes later, Josh is on his heels, mouth close to his ear. "Does that window look open to you?"

"Which window?"

"The house with the maroon van in the driveway."

Tyler squints his eyes. The glare from the sun is making it hard to see the window clearly. "It doesn't look open, but I think it's uncovered." In their experience, open blinds or curtains during the day, can be a sign that someone is either occupying the house or raiding it for supplies.

"Damn." They both slow their pace a little, house approaching. "Most likely it's nothing, but we should probably run as quickly and quietly as we can past it." Josh grabs his hand, and Tyler nods. "Now."

With adrenaline coursing through them both, they launch into a sprint, picking up even more speed as they get closer to the house. Everything is a blur and Tyler doesn't even realize they're out of the neighborhood, until the transition from asphalt to the crunch of gravel, registers in his ears and under his feet. The rest of the walk to their previous shelter is just like Josh guessed it would be: quiet and deserted.

Tyler hangs back as Josh checks some of the things he set up to let them know if anyone has been inside or not. "Looks fine. Still..." His eyes shoot to Tyler's belt and then back at the door.

He unsheathes his knife and follows Josh's lead inside, both quietly dropping their backpacks to the floor. The air is stale and tense as they move through the living room. Josh silently points to the hallway as he walks toward the kitchen. Tyler nods and lightens his steps as he approaches the first bedroom. Out of precaution, they removed all of the doors in the house, months ago, so Tyler is able to quickly peer through each bare doorframe. After the last room, he puts his knife away and walks back to beginning of the hallway, nearly jumping out of his skin when someone in the first bedroom comes into his peripheral.

He lets out of relieved breath when he sees that it's just Josh.

"Clear?" Josh asks without turning from the shelf he's standing in front of.

"Obviously." Tyler watches him pick up a small music box and hears him sigh. Already knowing the cause, he closes the gap between them and wraps his arms around Josh from behind, resting his chin on his shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"For?"

"That you won't get to see them again," Tyler responds, softly. "I still don't understand why you didn't just go with them."

With an exasperated sound, the music box gets placed back down and Josh removes himself from the embrace to sit on the bed in the corner. "We've already been over this a million times. No use in rehashing it anymore." He pulls one of the large stuffed animals from the bed, into his lap. "I don't regret it, so you really need to let go of whatever guilt you're holding on to."

He sits down next to him and runs his fingers across the heart that the brown bear is hugging. "Kind of hard not to feel it again when we're back in your home."

"Home left three months ago." Josh places the bear back down where it was nestled between two pillows. "As stupid as it sounds, this is just a shell of it. It's not the same anymore."

"It's not stupid." Tyler lays his head on Josh's shoulder. "Are you sure you don't want to be here though on our last day? May feel like you're with them in a way."

"What happened to wanting to sit on the dock and watch the world burn?"

Tyler snorts. "I hardly think I'm going to have a preference on where we wait for the gigantic wave of fire to incinerate us, so up to you."

"I don't know if I want to pollute this place with that fear though." Josh kisses his forward and wraps an arm around him. "I... and well _we_ , have a lot of good memories in this house."

"It's hard to believe that this will be the last time we're here."

He feels Josh shrug against him. The nonchalant gesture doesn't fool him, though. Josh's breath is a little heavier, and Tyler doesn't even have to look at his face to know that his eyes are most likely wet, just like his. The urge to comfort, distract, and give them both one last memorable experience there, has him standing up and pulling Josh from the bed. Tyler starts tugging him towards the door, undoing his belt buckle on the way.

"What are you doing?"

"What you said about not wanting to taint the memories here with bad ones?" Tyler kisses the corner of his mouth and tastes saltiness, not even sure who's tears they are. "I don't want our first time to be in the place where we're gonna die." He tries not to let his voice break and his eyes meet Josh's. "It should be here..."

His back hits one of the hallway walls, and Josh tentatively presses himself against him. "You sure you want to do this right now?" Josh's forehead drops onto his shoulder, mouth pressed to his collarbone.

"Well, we both promised to get in a lifetime together, the next few weeks..."

A low, "Okay,” as he works his way up to Tyler's lips and kisses him. He lets his eyes close; lets Josh maneuver his arms until they're slung around his neck, and then slides his hands down to Tyler's thighs, curling underneath them and lifting up. He quickly gets the idea and wraps his legs around Josh's waist.

Tyler's a little lightheaded as Josh places open mouth kisses to his neck. “Are we gonna stay here or...?” He asks, nails slowly scratching the bottom of Josh's scalp. "Because I'd be completely okay with it and all, but it's already going to be harder for me to make the walk back after this, without adding wall sex to it."

Josh huffs a laugh against his skin. “No. I just...I need a second to breathe and let it sink in that this is really about to happen."

"We don't have to, if you're not wanting it." He already feels stripped naked just having to ask that question, heightened emotions making him feel even more vulnerable.

To his relief, another laugh. Josh's hold on him tightens as he moves their bodies away from the wall and starts walking them to his old bedroom. "Now you're definitely being ridiculous."

Through the tears that are shifting from pain to happiness, Tyler smiles against the crook of his neck. "Still debatable."


End file.
